That's what we're calling it these days, fun, because it is. I think we've all finally settled into our groove and are loving life as a family of four. Of course we all have our moments, but we all had our moments as a family of three and a family of two, etc. so I guess you could say that doesn't really count.
Landon is such a sweetie with Sam. When he wakes up each morning the first thing he does is wander out of his room and into Sam's room. If Sam isn't in his room he asks where he is and immediately sets out to find him and give him a kiss and a pat. The other day Sam was in his room in his swing, Landon had a sippy cup of water and as I rounded the corner out of Landon's room and into Sam's Landon stuck the sippy into Sam's mouth. When I told him not to put his sippy in baby Sam's mouth he was so excited, telling me, "Mommy, I share with baby Sam!" How can you scold that?
I seem to use the word "bittersweet" a lot these days. It's bittersweet (see?), but Sam is growing out of that newborn, sleepy, squishy stage and is pretty much a baby at this point. He's waking up and spending more and more time with his bright blue eyes (where did those come from?!?) focusing on lights, reacting to sounds and noticing anything remotely interesting. He doles out smiles in the morning and belly laughed in his sleep the other day. He's starting to lose his hair like a little old man and his eyebrows and lashes are so light and blond that I'm sure he'll be a blondie just like his big brother. Sam loves snuggles, loves to be held upright and is soothed when you "shsh" in his ear and pat him on the back. His cries sound just like Landon's did when he was a baby. He's a really great baby, we're pretty spoiled by him and I'm so grateful he's such a good sleeper. Generally he'll go down for the night between 8 and 10 and I'll wake him between 3 and 4 to eat and he'll go right back to sleep until between 7 and 8 when he wants to eat again and is awake and smiley.
Sam has some issues with his kidneys still and moved from being diagnosed with pelviectasis to hydronephrosis. He had a voiding hystogram done and although it came back normal the Urologist wants to get some further tests done to check the function of his kidneys. She has a few concerns; the size of his kidneys as they're on the larger end of abnormal, that it took him so long to pee after he was born, and that the doctor had a hard time getting the catheter in during the voiding hystogram. I know in the long run he'll be fine and we hope this is something he'll eventually grow out of without needing surgery to correct anything, but no parent ever likes to hear that there's anything wrong with their child no matter how big or small the problem is. It also feels like we're one step closer to needing surgery to correct things, and while he certainly wouldn't be the first baby to undergo surgery he'd be MY first baby to undergo surgery and that's a scary thought. One step at a time though, I keep telling myself that if this is the worst thing we're faced with as parents then it isn't so bad, and that he will be just fine.
Having a baby in the house now makes me realize just what a big boy Landon is and will continue to be. Putting on his socks before Sam was born his feet seemed so small. Now, those little feet are ginormous compared to Sam's tiny tootsies. We've been pulling out all of Landon's old clothes and it just seems crazy to me that Landon used to fit into these little onesies, especially since I so vividly remember him in them and have pictures to prove it.
As time continues to fly I'm continually trying to live in each moment, being grateful for the time I have with both of my boys. They're only this small once and these moments are fleeting. As cliche as I know it is, I know I'm going to look back at this time when they're in elementary school, when they're playing high school sports, when we pack them for college and all of those milestones in life and wish for these early days with them again.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The early days
Settling in as a family of four has had its challenges as well as those easy moments where you feel like you've been doing this your whole life. The easiest transition is watching Sam and Landon together, it's so sweet, and Landon is such a good big brother. He loves to hold Sam, he loves to share his blankie with Sam, he wants to help whenever and wherever he can and will excitedly run to grab a diaper and exclaim all the way back to you what a big helper he is. Landon loves his little brother and loves to tell everyone what a great big brother he is. For the record, Spongebob and Patrick are still in his tummy and Santa and Mickey have joined them in there. He says the doctors haven't helped him take them out yet.
I think I'm now realizing just what a tough time and how much of a toll it took on me when Landon was itty bitty. Between the feeding issues, his weight issues and reflux I guess I didn't realize until now just how much all of that pressed on me and has made Sam's early days a little more stressful than I would have liked them to be. Sam and Landon are two totally different babies, their pregnancies and labors and deliveries completely different. Landon was in preemie and newborn clothes for the first few months of his life while Sam skipped right over newborn diapers and went straight to size ones in the hospital. I know this, I really do. The anxiety is still there with Sam though, and is something I have to reconcile with myself somehow.
At his two week checkup on Monday he was just an ounce and a half away from birth weight. His pediatrician was and is totally fine with this, and I really needed to hear it from the doctor. I can't tell you how big of a weight was lifted off my shoulders to hear him tell me that he is fine and that he didn't need to see us again for six weeks or so unless I felt the need to come back sooner. Feeding a baby is stressful. I have more milk this time and we got Sam's tongue clipped to correct his tongue tie when he was a week old, but still not knowing for sure that your baby is getting enough food is nerve wracking. I'm starting to ease up a little, but it's hard. And those postpartum hormones mixed in with the uncertainty and the guilt about possibly not breastfeeding and making sure Landon gets enough attention as well is plenty for a new mommy to deal with. I will be forever grateful for our fabulous family and friends for stepping in to make sure we were fed and had plenty of support during these first few weeks.
Also on Monday Sam had his follow-up ultrasound on his kidneys. Dr. Lande called yesterday with the results and it looks like both kidneys are moderately enlarged. They're sending a referral over for us to see a specialist in Oakland next week. I know everything will be fine, I know that Sam is healthy and thriving overall, but as a mom you just can't help but feel cruddy that something is "wrong" with your baby.
I think I'm now realizing just what a tough time and how much of a toll it took on me when Landon was itty bitty. Between the feeding issues, his weight issues and reflux I guess I didn't realize until now just how much all of that pressed on me and has made Sam's early days a little more stressful than I would have liked them to be. Sam and Landon are two totally different babies, their pregnancies and labors and deliveries completely different. Landon was in preemie and newborn clothes for the first few months of his life while Sam skipped right over newborn diapers and went straight to size ones in the hospital. I know this, I really do. The anxiety is still there with Sam though, and is something I have to reconcile with myself somehow.
At his two week checkup on Monday he was just an ounce and a half away from birth weight. His pediatrician was and is totally fine with this, and I really needed to hear it from the doctor. I can't tell you how big of a weight was lifted off my shoulders to hear him tell me that he is fine and that he didn't need to see us again for six weeks or so unless I felt the need to come back sooner. Feeding a baby is stressful. I have more milk this time and we got Sam's tongue clipped to correct his tongue tie when he was a week old, but still not knowing for sure that your baby is getting enough food is nerve wracking. I'm starting to ease up a little, but it's hard. And those postpartum hormones mixed in with the uncertainty and the guilt about possibly not breastfeeding and making sure Landon gets enough attention as well is plenty for a new mommy to deal with. I will be forever grateful for our fabulous family and friends for stepping in to make sure we were fed and had plenty of support during these first few weeks.
Also on Monday Sam had his follow-up ultrasound on his kidneys. Dr. Lande called yesterday with the results and it looks like both kidneys are moderately enlarged. They're sending a referral over for us to see a specialist in Oakland next week. I know everything will be fine, I know that Sam is healthy and thriving overall, but as a mom you just can't help but feel cruddy that something is "wrong" with your baby.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Our family has grown by two feet!
Samuel John is here! Landon is officially a big brother, and doing a great job too! It's been a whirlwind two weeks; our family has grown, our hearts are swollen with love, and our eyes are tired with a newborn and toddler running around the house but I wouldn't trade them for anything.
I had another doctor appointment and non-stress test on Friday, January 14th with my regular doctor. One of her partner doctors had already scheduled an induction for January 21st if Sam wasn't here by then but Dr. Mancuso had other plans. Things were still looking great, my blood pressure was fine, Sam was fine, my heart was fine, everything was fine, but according to Dr. Mancuso she just had a funny little feeling that we were done and it was time for Sam to join us on this side of the womb. It was strange coming from her since she'd been very anti induction throughout the pregnancy. It honestly freaked me out a little bit. After calling over to the hospital she told me to call the hospital on Saturday, January 15th at 5pm for our marching orders.
I spent the rest of the day in a fog, I was already anticipating the 21st as our induction date if labor didn't start on its own by then. A million thoughts were swirling through my head and now the anticipation was going to do me in. This was my last little bit of time with Landon, I wasn't sure if I was ready to give him up as my "baby" yet, and while I of course was excited to meet Sam I also couldn't help but nurse some sad feelings for Landon. His world was about to be turned upside down and he had no idea. I'd spent the last few months at home full time with him, able to focus on him and spend lots of special, quality time with him. A blessing for sure, but it was starting to make this transition to a family of four a little more difficult than I had imagined. I left the doctor's office, called Mark to let him know plans had changed and started off on what I thought would be a day full of errands. I got to my first stop, a good friend's cafe, and decided to cancel my lunch date and the rest of my errands. Dang those hormones, I was too overwhelmed. I sat in her cafe for probably three or four hours and just absorbed the last several months. Happy, excited, elated, ready to give birth, ready to meet Sam, ready to introduce Landon to his baby brother, scared of the induction, nervous, ready not to be pregnant. I was swollen with feelings.
After gathering my thoughts and inhaling a sandwich I left to pick up Landon early from daycare. We spent the rest of the afternoon and the following day, Sam's due date, just hanging out as a family, packing our bags and getting last minute details ready for Sam's arrival. Sam's due date also happened to be Grandma Jean's birthday, so we met up with the rest of the family for a celebratory dinner. It was 5pm in the middle of dinner so I called over to the hospital and was told to eat a light dinner and be there at 7pm. Granddad met us back at the house after dinner for a slumber party with Landon, I kissed my baby boy for the last time before leaving for the hospital and we were out the door and on our way.
All the papers were signed, we were assigned to our room and the doctor came in to go over the game plan. They drew labs to ensure I wouldn't need to be given any magnesium since I'd been spilling a little bit of protein for the last couple of weeks and checked my cervix. I was dilated to 3cm already and having small but regular contractions. The lab work came back fine so the doctor transferred care to a midwife and started pitocin at about 11pm. It was a party in the delivery room at that point, Mark, my mom, Katie, Emily and John were all there and planned on hanging in the waiting room once active labor started. I was starting to breathe through the contractions while the peanut gallery was joking around in the background. John cracked some joke about pixies living in the contraction monitors that had everyone in the room laughing. I was mortified when I thought I'd peed myself so I told everyone to go out to the waiting room and buzzed the nurse. Turns out my water broke; thanks pixies. I spent the next few hours trying to rest and breathing through the contractions.
It was about 3am when I finally buzzed the nurse and told her I'd like to talk pain management. Pitocin contractions are no joke, and while I was breathing through them I knew I wasn't relaxing enough to make them as effective as possible. The anesthesiologist was in a c-section and wasn't available for half an hour so she offered me a shot of fentanyl in the meantime. I almost didn't take it, but the contractions went from tolerable to not in a matter of minutes, that was a strange feeling. The midwife checked me and I was still only 3cm dilated. I took the fentanyl and it took the edge off until the anesthesiologist literally walked in.
The epidural made me comfortable enough to rest so I spent some time dozing in and out of sleep. The peanut gallery brought Gatorade and 7up and checked on us a few times between overtaking the waiting room down the hall. The nurses interrupted my rest a few times as Sam wasn't cooperating and would move and fall off his monitor. At one point the nurse came rushing in because his heart rate took a big drop, all the lights in the room came on and I won an oxygen mask for the rest of labor and delivery. Sam's heart rate recovered and they placed an internal monitor on his head. An hour and a half after the nice man gave me that epidural the midwife came in to check my progress. I'd gone from 3cm to 9cm since now resting through those contractions. She left and came back half an hour later, it was time to push. Sam was coming! I started pushing at 7am, pushed through three contractions, and out he came at 7:08am on Sunday, January 16th.
I will never forget the feeling of them laying him on my stomach after he was born. This warm, wet little being crying and looking around. It was amazing and nothing short of a miracle. They let me hold him for a minute while Mark cut the umbilical cord and then took him over to the warmer to clean him up and suction out his lungs. There was a little concern he'd swallowed some meconium as well as some blood. Maybe Dr. Mancuso was right, it needed to happen when it did, my placenta started to abrupt right before Sam was born. The midwife told me that I'd lost "more blood than the average bear." She was sweet, I really liked her a lot, but I had to laugh at her comment. She stitched me up, handed me my sweet bundle of Sam, announced that he was 8 pounds 11 ounces and 22 inches long, and left us to get to know each other.
I had another doctor appointment and non-stress test on Friday, January 14th with my regular doctor. One of her partner doctors had already scheduled an induction for January 21st if Sam wasn't here by then but Dr. Mancuso had other plans. Things were still looking great, my blood pressure was fine, Sam was fine, my heart was fine, everything was fine, but according to Dr. Mancuso she just had a funny little feeling that we were done and it was time for Sam to join us on this side of the womb. It was strange coming from her since she'd been very anti induction throughout the pregnancy. It honestly freaked me out a little bit. After calling over to the hospital she told me to call the hospital on Saturday, January 15th at 5pm for our marching orders.
I spent the rest of the day in a fog, I was already anticipating the 21st as our induction date if labor didn't start on its own by then. A million thoughts were swirling through my head and now the anticipation was going to do me in. This was my last little bit of time with Landon, I wasn't sure if I was ready to give him up as my "baby" yet, and while I of course was excited to meet Sam I also couldn't help but nurse some sad feelings for Landon. His world was about to be turned upside down and he had no idea. I'd spent the last few months at home full time with him, able to focus on him and spend lots of special, quality time with him. A blessing for sure, but it was starting to make this transition to a family of four a little more difficult than I had imagined. I left the doctor's office, called Mark to let him know plans had changed and started off on what I thought would be a day full of errands. I got to my first stop, a good friend's cafe, and decided to cancel my lunch date and the rest of my errands. Dang those hormones, I was too overwhelmed. I sat in her cafe for probably three or four hours and just absorbed the last several months. Happy, excited, elated, ready to give birth, ready to meet Sam, ready to introduce Landon to his baby brother, scared of the induction, nervous, ready not to be pregnant. I was swollen with feelings.
After gathering my thoughts and inhaling a sandwich I left to pick up Landon early from daycare. We spent the rest of the afternoon and the following day, Sam's due date, just hanging out as a family, packing our bags and getting last minute details ready for Sam's arrival. Sam's due date also happened to be Grandma Jean's birthday, so we met up with the rest of the family for a celebratory dinner. It was 5pm in the middle of dinner so I called over to the hospital and was told to eat a light dinner and be there at 7pm. Granddad met us back at the house after dinner for a slumber party with Landon, I kissed my baby boy for the last time before leaving for the hospital and we were out the door and on our way.
All the papers were signed, we were assigned to our room and the doctor came in to go over the game plan. They drew labs to ensure I wouldn't need to be given any magnesium since I'd been spilling a little bit of protein for the last couple of weeks and checked my cervix. I was dilated to 3cm already and having small but regular contractions. The lab work came back fine so the doctor transferred care to a midwife and started pitocin at about 11pm. It was a party in the delivery room at that point, Mark, my mom, Katie, Emily and John were all there and planned on hanging in the waiting room once active labor started. I was starting to breathe through the contractions while the peanut gallery was joking around in the background. John cracked some joke about pixies living in the contraction monitors that had everyone in the room laughing. I was mortified when I thought I'd peed myself so I told everyone to go out to the waiting room and buzzed the nurse. Turns out my water broke; thanks pixies. I spent the next few hours trying to rest and breathing through the contractions.
It was about 3am when I finally buzzed the nurse and told her I'd like to talk pain management. Pitocin contractions are no joke, and while I was breathing through them I knew I wasn't relaxing enough to make them as effective as possible. The anesthesiologist was in a c-section and wasn't available for half an hour so she offered me a shot of fentanyl in the meantime. I almost didn't take it, but the contractions went from tolerable to not in a matter of minutes, that was a strange feeling. The midwife checked me and I was still only 3cm dilated. I took the fentanyl and it took the edge off until the anesthesiologist literally walked in.
The epidural made me comfortable enough to rest so I spent some time dozing in and out of sleep. The peanut gallery brought Gatorade and 7up and checked on us a few times between overtaking the waiting room down the hall. The nurses interrupted my rest a few times as Sam wasn't cooperating and would move and fall off his monitor. At one point the nurse came rushing in because his heart rate took a big drop, all the lights in the room came on and I won an oxygen mask for the rest of labor and delivery. Sam's heart rate recovered and they placed an internal monitor on his head. An hour and a half after the nice man gave me that epidural the midwife came in to check my progress. I'd gone from 3cm to 9cm since now resting through those contractions. She left and came back half an hour later, it was time to push. Sam was coming! I started pushing at 7am, pushed through three contractions, and out he came at 7:08am on Sunday, January 16th.
I will never forget the feeling of them laying him on my stomach after he was born. This warm, wet little being crying and looking around. It was amazing and nothing short of a miracle. They let me hold him for a minute while Mark cut the umbilical cord and then took him over to the warmer to clean him up and suction out his lungs. There was a little concern he'd swallowed some meconium as well as some blood. Maybe Dr. Mancuso was right, it needed to happen when it did, my placenta started to abrupt right before Sam was born. The midwife told me that I'd lost "more blood than the average bear." She was sweet, I really liked her a lot, but I had to laugh at her comment. She stitched me up, handed me my sweet bundle of Sam, announced that he was 8 pounds 11 ounces and 22 inches long, and left us to get to know each other.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Are we there.....yet??
We're officially six days away from baby Sam's due date. Six days, that means I'm over 39 weeks pregnant. I've never been this pregnant before, last time around I had a two week old right about now. There was plenty of anxiety and craziness with Landon's pregnancy, but I don't nearly remember it being on this level.
This time around things are much better physically, my blood pressure is in check and hasn't been concerning enough to warrant scheduling an induction. I've had some heart issues this time around and they've thankfully been quiet enough not to wreak havoc either. Phew. Don't worry though, it's not been without a teensy bit of drama in the last couple weeks. My doctors are watching things closely and we had a little adventure over to Labor and Delivery last week and I've since won myself twice weekly visits to see the doctor and have a non stress test done until Sam makes his appearance. I also can cross an emergency root canal off my bucket list since I had to get one of those done last week, and it's now infected (cue pain, numbness and swelling). Yippee. Yes, this is me, the religious tooth brusher with two whole fillings in my mouth. I won myself a root canal and I'm still trying to figure out how it happened.
Oh, the hormones. At least that's what I think it is; or hope it is. Either that or I'm going crazy, which is a possibility - ha! Really though, I don't remember being this mood-swingy last time. I've sworn off email and social networking sites for the most part because something is bound to either piss me off or make me cry happy/sad tears. Ho-Lee-Cow. Don't worry though, I'm not saving it all up for postpartum.
I cried like I'm sure baby Sam will tonight when putting Landon down for bed. Quiet, weepy tears full of happiness, hope, what I'm sure is fear, resolution....pick an emotion out of your hat, I'm sure it was in there somewhere. Tonight at dinner Landon looked like such a big boy sitting at the table eating his yogurt all by himself with his spoon and not spilling a drop. Sam kicked and it just about instantly brought me back to a time when Landon was itty bitty and wasn't quite getting the hang of eating solids. It seemed so permanent at the time, but that was all of probably two short years ago and didn't last nearly as long as it felt. Fast forward to bath time tonight. We're not officially on the potty training bandwagon because selfishly, I don't want to deal with the regression that will surely happen when Sam gets here, and Landon's not quite ready, but he does tell us when he has to "go" sometimes; like tonight. My big boy "went" in the potty all by himself - and not in the bathtub! Landon and Sam have a few pairs of matching jammies thanks to friends and family. I pulled out his 3T's and out fell the newborn matching pair for Sam. I remember when Landon didn't even FIT into those size newborn jammies, and practically swam in the preemies. Now the 3T's are a little big on him but a far cry from those newborns.
The wallop came when it was time for bed. We brushed teeth, combed hair, read stories and sang our lullaby songs. Usually we get a little backlash when the time comes to put Landon down to sleep but tonight he reached up himself to give me a hug and kiss and told me he loved me - totally unprompted. I passed him to Mark for more of the same before he crawled up to his pillow to lay down. Every now and then I'll lay down and snuggle with him, but that hasn't happened for quite some time (hello ginormous pregnant belly). Tonight as his little head hit the pillow he asked me to snuggle with him. I'm relishing these last moments of him being an only child and am soaking up as much as possible, just as I hope he's doing, so I grabbed a pillow and settled in next to Landon in his big boy bed. Mark turned on the goodnight music and off the light on his way out the door. I rubbed Landon's back and stroked his hair as I thought he was drifting off to sleep. At one point I stopped and put my arm down. Landon turned his head, put his soft little hand on my cheek and said, "I love you Mommy," before turning himself back around and settling into his pillow. On came the tears. When I thought he was reaching for his blankie he grabbed my hand, snuggled it up next to his cheek and stroked my arm as softly and gently as I'd done for him. I knew he'd finally drifted off to sleep when all was still. More tears. Lots more tears.
I don't know what I did to get so lucky as to have such a sweet little guy (with another on the way to boot) and I can't help but reflect back over the last two and a half years with all the ups and downs and be just amazed at what my life has become. How much richer I am, how crazy different life now is, and how I can't really remember - and don't care to - what life was like before this little being entered our world. I also can't help but think about how life will now change again in the days, maybe even hours to come.
Landon knows he's going to be a big brother. Ask him who is in mommy's tummy and he'll tell you that baby Sam is in there. And then he'll lift up his shirt and tell you that he has a baby in his tummy, it's Spongebob and Patrick (thanks to our neighbor's Christmas lawn decor). Yes, he understands....but does he really? Probably and probably not. I'm excited to introduce Landon to his brother, but at the same time my heart is pulled in another direction knowing and wondering what changes this will bring to our seemingly perfect little family.
Oh, the hormones. Cue more tears. Come on, Sam, let's get this show on the road.
This time around things are much better physically, my blood pressure is in check and hasn't been concerning enough to warrant scheduling an induction. I've had some heart issues this time around and they've thankfully been quiet enough not to wreak havoc either. Phew. Don't worry though, it's not been without a teensy bit of drama in the last couple weeks. My doctors are watching things closely and we had a little adventure over to Labor and Delivery last week and I've since won myself twice weekly visits to see the doctor and have a non stress test done until Sam makes his appearance. I also can cross an emergency root canal off my bucket list since I had to get one of those done last week, and it's now infected (cue pain, numbness and swelling). Yippee. Yes, this is me, the religious tooth brusher with two whole fillings in my mouth. I won myself a root canal and I'm still trying to figure out how it happened.
Oh, the hormones. At least that's what I think it is; or hope it is. Either that or I'm going crazy, which is a possibility - ha! Really though, I don't remember being this mood-swingy last time. I've sworn off email and social networking sites for the most part because something is bound to either piss me off or make me cry happy/sad tears. Ho-Lee-Cow. Don't worry though, I'm not saving it all up for postpartum.
I cried like I'm sure baby Sam will tonight when putting Landon down for bed. Quiet, weepy tears full of happiness, hope, what I'm sure is fear, resolution....pick an emotion out of your hat, I'm sure it was in there somewhere. Tonight at dinner Landon looked like such a big boy sitting at the table eating his yogurt all by himself with his spoon and not spilling a drop. Sam kicked and it just about instantly brought me back to a time when Landon was itty bitty and wasn't quite getting the hang of eating solids. It seemed so permanent at the time, but that was all of probably two short years ago and didn't last nearly as long as it felt. Fast forward to bath time tonight. We're not officially on the potty training bandwagon because selfishly, I don't want to deal with the regression that will surely happen when Sam gets here, and Landon's not quite ready, but he does tell us when he has to "go" sometimes; like tonight. My big boy "went" in the potty all by himself - and not in the bathtub! Landon and Sam have a few pairs of matching jammies thanks to friends and family. I pulled out his 3T's and out fell the newborn matching pair for Sam. I remember when Landon didn't even FIT into those size newborn jammies, and practically swam in the preemies. Now the 3T's are a little big on him but a far cry from those newborns.
The wallop came when it was time for bed. We brushed teeth, combed hair, read stories and sang our lullaby songs. Usually we get a little backlash when the time comes to put Landon down to sleep but tonight he reached up himself to give me a hug and kiss and told me he loved me - totally unprompted. I passed him to Mark for more of the same before he crawled up to his pillow to lay down. Every now and then I'll lay down and snuggle with him, but that hasn't happened for quite some time (hello ginormous pregnant belly). Tonight as his little head hit the pillow he asked me to snuggle with him. I'm relishing these last moments of him being an only child and am soaking up as much as possible, just as I hope he's doing, so I grabbed a pillow and settled in next to Landon in his big boy bed. Mark turned on the goodnight music and off the light on his way out the door. I rubbed Landon's back and stroked his hair as I thought he was drifting off to sleep. At one point I stopped and put my arm down. Landon turned his head, put his soft little hand on my cheek and said, "I love you Mommy," before turning himself back around and settling into his pillow. On came the tears. When I thought he was reaching for his blankie he grabbed my hand, snuggled it up next to his cheek and stroked my arm as softly and gently as I'd done for him. I knew he'd finally drifted off to sleep when all was still. More tears. Lots more tears.
I don't know what I did to get so lucky as to have such a sweet little guy (with another on the way to boot) and I can't help but reflect back over the last two and a half years with all the ups and downs and be just amazed at what my life has become. How much richer I am, how crazy different life now is, and how I can't really remember - and don't care to - what life was like before this little being entered our world. I also can't help but think about how life will now change again in the days, maybe even hours to come.
Landon knows he's going to be a big brother. Ask him who is in mommy's tummy and he'll tell you that baby Sam is in there. And then he'll lift up his shirt and tell you that he has a baby in his tummy, it's Spongebob and Patrick (thanks to our neighbor's Christmas lawn decor). Yes, he understands....but does he really? Probably and probably not. I'm excited to introduce Landon to his brother, but at the same time my heart is pulled in another direction knowing and wondering what changes this will bring to our seemingly perfect little family.
Oh, the hormones. Cue more tears. Come on, Sam, let's get this show on the road.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Christmastime is here!
Can you hear Charlie Brown and all of his buddies singing? Oh, you can't? Just stop by our house, I'm sure you'll have no problem since "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is permanently implanted in the DVD player these days courtesy of Landon. He's become well acquainted with Charlie Brown and "Snoopy the dog" and attempts to negotiate a viewing often.
The holidays through the eyes of a child cannot be described. The wonder, amazement, enchantment, sparkle, and excitement are unmatched; it's too bad it only lasts for a little over a month. We've packed quite a bit into our holiday cheer and celebrations already - and it's only the fifth of December - partially because Landon (and Mommy and Daddy too, who am I kidding?) is way into it. This year's holiday season is so much fun.
The holidays through the eyes of a child cannot be described. The wonder, amazement, enchantment, sparkle, and excitement are unmatched; it's too bad it only lasts for a little over a month. We've packed quite a bit into our holiday cheer and celebrations already - and it's only the fifth of December - partially because Landon (and Mommy and Daddy too, who am I kidding?) is way into it. This year's holiday season is so much fun.
This year's Christmas tree is the first tree in 30-ish years of Poston family history to come from a tree lot instead of the Plumas National Forest. The area got quite the dumping of snow and after hearing that there was upwards of four feet of snow before another storm came through - and confirming with the ranger station that the only way in was by snow mobile, snow shoes or skis - we ended up finding a great tree at a you-cut lot up in Placerville. Gotta keep those high ceilings at home useful somehow, and we ended up with a 14 footer this year. Quite a different experience, but we still had a good time.
Landon was introduced to "handy canes" and has decided that he absolutely loves them.
We made Christmas ornaments out of salt dough to paint and hang on our tree.
And who says it doesn't snow in the Bay Area?!?! We took advantage of all the snow the city annually pipes into downtown. At first Landon wasn't too sure about all this white stuff but eventually decided he loved it, from the snowballs to the sledding down the "hill."
After all that sledding tired us out we decided to get an extra special treat. Landon got his first taste of hot chocolate in a seasonally appropriate little red cup from Starbucks. Landon was so excited he could hardly contain himself, and it was just about the only thing that tore him away from the snow outside, but he was over it once he finished about a quarter of his hot chocolate and he wanted to go back outside to play some more.
Every year the carousel at Tilden Park lights up with Christmas trees, lawn decor, Santa and even reindeer make an appearance. It's whimsical and magical and a holiday tradition that's recently made its way on our to-do list as this is the second year we've climbed the winding roads through Berkeley's foggy hills at night. A few trips on the carousel, a visit with Santa (his reindeer were off that night), marveling at the "beyoodaful" lights, picking out an ornament for our tree at home and a "pocorn" snack we had a great time.
Stay tuned, more holiday adventures await!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Gobble gobble gurkey, plum turkeys are we!
Thanksgiving has come and gone, we're all on the lookout for the man in the big red suit these days but had lots of fun and stuffed ourselves like turkeys over Thanksgiving. Landon "gets" the holidays more this year and it's so much fun experiencing things through his eyes with all the excitement, wonder and innocence. He was SO excited to have turkey on Thanksgiving and we both had a good (and sometimes challenging...patience mommy and daddy, patience) time cooking Thanksgiving dinner with my little sous chef. I don't think we left anything out: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, rolls, pumpkin cheesecake and apple pie. I told you we stuffed ourselves like turkeys. Landon's job throughout the whole process was to measure, dump and stir. He helped with the cranberry sauce, pumpkin cheesecake and green bean casserole - and made sure to enthusiastically let everyone know exactly what he helped with.
We had a low key and fairly quiet Turkey Day. We watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV, we talked this up with Landon for a few days and the night before Thanksgiving he was so hyped up to watch the parade in the morning it ended up making bedtime a little difficult. Macy's didn't disappoint our little guy, we recorded the parade and have since had to watch it again a few times. A nap, some cooking, setting the table and a little rest for mommy and daddy and our guests for dinner arrived; Auntie Kate, Uncle John, Great-grandma Jean, Granddad, Nana-reen, Aunt B, and even Papa and Grandma Nancy ended up coming. Granddad gave his little buddy a bath for the first time and everyone went home in a turkey induced coma.
True to tradition, we all convened at Great-grandma Jean's on Saturday for more celebrating with the extended family. In cheesy family tradition and in memory of Aunt Bunny who always started us off and sang the loudest we sang "Gobble Gobble Gurkey" before eating dinner even though turkey was not on the menu. Landon loved it and now requests the "turkey prayer" before dinner - HA! Heide was home from college so we celebrated her belated 21st birthday with a champagne toast (Martinelli's "apple wine" for Landon) where Great-grandma Jean gave Landon a special cordial glass to toast with. Landon bit down on the glass and broke it in his mouth after he polished off his apple wine, we spent a good five minutes making sure he didn't have any broken glass in his mouth. He didn't, luckily spit everything out, and we're no worse for the wear. Plastic from now on though!
We had a low key and fairly quiet Turkey Day. We watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV, we talked this up with Landon for a few days and the night before Thanksgiving he was so hyped up to watch the parade in the morning it ended up making bedtime a little difficult. Macy's didn't disappoint our little guy, we recorded the parade and have since had to watch it again a few times. A nap, some cooking, setting the table and a little rest for mommy and daddy and our guests for dinner arrived; Auntie Kate, Uncle John, Great-grandma Jean, Granddad, Nana-reen, Aunt B, and even Papa and Grandma Nancy ended up coming. Granddad gave his little buddy a bath for the first time and everyone went home in a turkey induced coma.
True to tradition, we all convened at Great-grandma Jean's on Saturday for more celebrating with the extended family. In cheesy family tradition and in memory of Aunt Bunny who always started us off and sang the loudest we sang "Gobble Gobble Gurkey" before eating dinner even though turkey was not on the menu. Landon loved it and now requests the "turkey prayer" before dinner - HA! Heide was home from college so we celebrated her belated 21st birthday with a champagne toast (Martinelli's "apple wine" for Landon) where Great-grandma Jean gave Landon a special cordial glass to toast with. Landon bit down on the glass and broke it in his mouth after he polished off his apple wine, we spent a good five minutes making sure he didn't have any broken glass in his mouth. He didn't, luckily spit everything out, and we're no worse for the wear. Plastic from now on though!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Fall is here!
What better time for a camera dump? Check out what we've been up to...
Landon's been earning his keep helping mow the lawn just like Daddy
Landon's been earning his keep helping mow the lawn just like Daddy
We picked out pumpkins at the pumpkin patch just in time for Halloween
We visited Grandpa Jay up in the mountains. I don't know who had more fun, Grandpa Jay or Landon. Landon talked about the trip for days and still talks about Grandpa Jay and riding his "tractor," asking when we're going to go back to see him again.
We got our fill of apples and all things Fall at Apple Hill
We made applesauce with our apples
And have been enjoying our time with our silly little guy
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